My niece is with me today playing with Snapchat while I write. She is hilarious, smart and full of life! I want nothing but the best for her. I remind her every time I see her how valuable she is and that she can do anything she sets her mind to. I remind both of them of this because it is so important for little girls and young women.
With that in mind, I want to talk about two things that any man or women should have going for them before they marry or before they get into any kind of serious relationship that will lead to marriage.
The first thing all of you ladies should have going for you is to know who you are and to know your value. If you know who you are and your value, it won't be easy for someone to convince you otherwise. It won't be easy for someone to attempt to tell you that you are someone you are not or convince you that you aren't who God made you to be. I will tell you this ladies, if a man loves you, he won't do ANYTHING to hurt you and that includes trying to destroy your identity. Gage your relationships on this premise. Any attempt to destroy your identity is not love and it is an attempt to destroy you, usually to make themselves feel better about their own internal struggles or issues. A man that loves you will love you for who you are, in fact he will celebrate it and embrace it. Gentlemen, this also applies to you for any women you want in your life.
The second thing you ladies need going for you is your own ability to take care of yourself financially. I say this not because you automatically need to distrust the man you are involved with (unless he has given you good reason to) but because you need to be able to come together and help one another. Also, if something happens to him you will already know how to take care of yourself. Both of you should be able to stand on your own two feet together or apart. Neither of you should use money as a way to manipulate or control the other and neither of you should be apathetic when it comes to your finances. I can tell you from experience, an apathetic, manipulative partner will decimate you financially.
Ladies, the bottom line is you will enter the relationship stronger if these two areas of your life are in their correct place and priority. Having these priorities in their correct place will also steer you clear of men who have other ideas. The man you become involved with should also have these priorities in line both for himself and for you. Gentlemen, if you have these priorities in place as well it will steer you clear of women with other ideas. You will both be stronger from the start in your relationship and you can help each other in your weak areas.
Enter you relationships financially strong and with strong identities. Do not settle for anything else!
Stronger than ever,