I have been reading a book I have mentiond before called Beyond Boundaries by Dr. John Townsend. I read something in this book the other day about grieving the good and the bad in a relationship that didn't work out. After reading this, I had to ask myself if I had grieved both the good and the bad in my former marriage. Had I grieved it or simply acknowledged it? There is a difference.
The book had suggested you write a list of everything good and bad about the person, give that list to God and choose to grieve it all. The book also suggested you do something with the list that was symbolic to demonstrate you were letting go of all of those aspects, the good and the bad and the ugly.
To make a long story short, I decided this weekend that I had not necessarily grieved everything (both the good and the bad) nor given everything to God. Yes I had acknowledged most of it and even grieved most of it, but not all of it. It was time to act on this very good advice.
So, last night I made my list. The good, the bad, the ugly. I will admit I liked making the good list. The good list made me smile and even laugh to myself. I hated making the bad and ugly list. The bad and ugly list made me sad but it was necessary. When I was finished filling the page with both of my lists, I prayed. It wasn't a fancy prayer just a prayer telling God this was finished and I was letting go of all of this, regardless of how it made me feel. This relationship was no more and it never would be. I asked God to help me grieve anything else that I needed to grieve. I shredded the list. To me, that was symbolic of letting go of what was, what could not be and what can never be; at least not with my late husband.
Believe it or not, this was actually a relief. I felt better afterwards. I feel like I really have let something go. I didn't just acknowledge it, I let it go. I want to encourage you to do the same in a way that makes sense to you if there are things left ungrieved or if there is something or someone you are still holding onto. Not all things work out in this life and we have to be willing to acknowledge, grieve and let go. We are healthier for that.
I want to tell you just because you have to grieve and let go of something or someone does not mean good things can not still come into your life. I have had many good things and people come into my life since my husband died. God is still good, no situation or person changes that fact.
Grieve and let go of your losses friends. There is so much good in that and so much more awaits you!
Until next time,