Our pastor has been doing a Relationships series these past few weeks. It has been very hard for me to listen to and honestly there have been times I have just tuned out. Today, I saw my late husband in those descriptions and it broke my heart. I was glad to be surrounded by friends who understood and supported me. I have not cried from the very center of my being in a long time. I cried for him, I cried for us.
I wrote a blog the other day about a dysfunctional relationship and how many of the principles discussed in this Relationship series just don't come into play because of more serious emotional and life background issues for some people. What I learned today, however, really hit home where Jeff was concerned. The very root of his problem, aside from the mental illness and abusive background, was unbelief. Unbelief killed his understanding of love. Unbelief killed his dreams. Unbelief killed the knowledge of who God said he was. Unbelief killed his sense of self-worth. Unbelief killed any idea that he was loved and valued - one of the very reasons, aside from mental illness, that he killed himself. In essence, unbelief killed the spiritual Jeff and it killed the physical Jeff. Unbelief killed our marriage. Something as simple as unbelief! Unbelief in God's Word, unbelief in himself, unbelief that God loved him. The kicker is Jeff let unbelief have its way. He let it kill everything in his life! This hit me hard today. I am thankful Jeff was saved and Jesus did not reject him for this choice of unbelief. Yes, even Christians can have unbelief in their lives if they choose it. Jeff is safe with Jesus today, of that I am sure. Oh what a life it could have been if not for unbelief!
I am here to tell you, if you let unbelief in, it will kill everything in your life too. It will kill your relationships, It will kill love, it will kill your dreams, your wants, your desires, your sanity and could even take your life. It will teach you about who you are not instead of teaching you about who you really are. It will take everything from you. Everything!! I don't want what happened in my marriage and to my husband to happen to you and yours!
What are you not believing? What is that unbelief killing in your life? Is it slowly killing you? It is time for us to examine ourselves, myself included.
Choose to believe today! Choose life! Don't let unbelief kill your life and the lives of others. Believe what God says is true! The only other alternative just brings death, death to many things. Believe!! I will shout it from the rooftops!!! Believe!!! It is the only life-giving alternative we have!