Over the last several months I have made some rather strange personal decisions. Not horrible decisions but also not some of my best decisions. I've dated some men I had no business with in particular. These men aren't bad men but they aren't God's men if you know what I mean - at least for me. I wish them the best and I hope they find the person they are looking for in the future. I will continue to pray for them.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of reflection. I have also asked God why I made these particular decisions. Aside from the fact I was excited to try a relationship again, He showed me something I did not expect. In fact he showed me something I did not even know. He showed me I was believing a lie and therefore settling instead of waiting on His best for me.
What could I have possibly believed that allowed me to settle? The lie that I am not enough. The lie that I am not lovable enough. The lie that I am not likeable enough. **Unknown to me, these lies had taken hold in my life almost 4 years ago while I was in the middle of an abusive marriage to my late husband. They entrenched themselves more so after he took his own life. Yet at the time, because of grief and other emotional upheaval, I had no idea they were affecting my identity so profoundly. These weren't my lies, they were Satan's lies. These lies were designed to attack and kill my identity and further the emotional damage of abuse since any attack on me physically was not an option. The end result? To kill Elizabeth's true identity, to kill her as you know her and maybe even to convince her in the end she'd be better off dead because she was not enough anyway.
These lies began with my late husband's abusiveness and they lingered long after he was gone. What I did not realize is not only had I believed those three lies but I had believed under the surface that those were the reasons he took his life! The Lord has made this very clear to me in these last two weeks. I can only tell you that I had no idea such things were under the surface in my thought life - even though my husband's death had nothing to do at all with me! Crafty lies they may have been but they are not more powerful than the light of Jesus Christ! I am so thankful He showed me these lies! It is as if a great weight is gone now from my heart that I did not even know I was carrying.
I am writing you today, that no matter where you are, that no matter who you are, no matter whether you are a man or woman; you are lovable enough, you are likeable enough and you are enough because Jesus is enough and in Him is the only identity you have that matters! He is enough therefore we are enough! Who we really are can't be changed by circumstances or by other people and their choices. We have the choice to believe who He says we are and we are His beloved! We are His children! Nothing on this planet can change those two truths! Nothing!
I invite you today to examine your heart and to let the Lord examine your heart. Are there lies you are believing that you are not aware of that are influencing your decisions? Are there lies attacking your very identity? These can be the most dangerous of lies! They are burdens you were never meant to bare. What are you carrying that you need to give to Him? As He has been faithful to me, He will be faithful to you to show you what is affecting your life and your decisions.
You are lovable enough! You are likeable enough! You are enough and you always will be because He said so!
Lovable, likeable, and enough always,
**For the rest of my story see my book, The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In Between. You can find it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online in digital and print media. See my author page for additional details!