I saw something the other day about mediation and it prompted me to want to write about this topic as it relates to evil and abuse. May this help you take the next step into freedom!
I am here to tell you, you cannot mediate with evil. It will not mediate with you. It's sole purpose is to come out on top in all situations and circumstances and to make you a victim and a slave. It does not meet you half way and it does what I like to call "fake negotiating" - meaning it only negotiates to serve self, not the good of anyone or anything else involved.
Allow me to give you an example. Let's say you are married to a person who is abusive or who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder or worse, both. This is a person with deep emotional and soul wounds - many times who has been abused themselves by someone with the same problem. Their sole existance has become selfish and self-centered. They do not care about anything or anyone but themselves. They are motivated by evil and do not care who or what they hurt to get what they want. They are master manipulators, or so they think, and will manipulate you and others to get exactly what they want. Now, let's say you are having problems in this marriage (no wonder) and you want to get some help. One of two things will happen. They will either "fake agree" to get help and never go or they will "fake agree" to get help and fake changing their act. In reality, they will never mediate with you beyond anything that will serve them and whatever warped purpose they wish to achieve - for many of these individuals it is looking good, powerful or both. They are liars to their very core, even if they claim to be saved. Their souls wounds are very deep and they know nothing else. They will never mediate whether it be in a counceling session or for a divorce. You must go into this knowing this fact, I did not. Everything they say or do will be focused on one thing- saving their skin and saving face in front of other people. The survival of their marriage or family will be furthest from their mind. In the case of abuse of any kind, the abuser usually does not care if you are hurt, live or die. **I can't help but speak plainly on this issue - I have lived it.
I will say this again as I have said in a blog I did a few months ago - you cannot save all marriages or relationships. I know many times the church says otherwise. I write this so the church can see that not even they can mediate with evil.
In the case I mentioned above, this marriage will be unsalvagable unless the person with the severe emotional problems repents, seeks God and trully commits to change. You cannot change a person like this and you cannot mediate with the evil that drives them, not even if you are a pastor.
I want you to know God sees what drives them and you are not at fault. I want you to know that when you choose to leave situations like the one I described, God has plenty of grace for you and does not see you in the wrong. He does not mediate with evil, why should you? He tells evil where it can go - away from him! He draws clear boundaries in the face of evil. He does not tolerate it!
I want to encourage anyone reading this today who is going through abuse of any kind - draw clear boundaries and stop trying to mediate with evil. You and your children will lose in the end. You cannot mediate with evil - it does not care anything about you. You can't love the evil out of someone either - only Jesus can deal with evil at that level. Trust me, I tried.
Here is my charge to you today - free yourself from evil and walk in peace!!
Mediating no more,
**See my book, The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In-Between.