Hello everyone! I can’t believe it is 15 days until Christmas! This year has flown and it has been a year of refining for me. Today’s blog was prompted by a conversation I had last week in a forum on social media about healthy relationships that I have been a part of for several months now. The topic was on marriage, health boundaries and saying “no” when needed. I can tell you that saying “no” comes in handy both inside and outside of marriage. It works in friendships, at work, in school, and with family.
Saying “no” to an unsafe situation or relationship is not only a good practice, it is necessary for you to survive and thrive. When we say “no” to something or someone that is not good for us, we are saying “yes” to what is good for us. We are saying “yes” to better decisions, and “yes” to a better future. We are saying “yes” to accomplishing our goals without the added drama and baggage of a bad influence. We are saying “yes” to love, peace, and hope in our lives and “no” to strife, hate, unforgiveness, bitterness, drama and baggage. We are saying “yes” to all God wants for us when we say “no” to evil.
Why is learning to say “no” so important? First of all, it can save you a lot of time, energy and money. Time spent on a relationship that is going nowhere fast or that is not safe is wasted time. Energy spent on trying to get someone to do what they know to be right and they continually refuse is wasted energy. I will also say that both time and energy spent trying to explain to someone that they are engaging in evil, yet they already know they are, is also a waste of your valuable time and energy. Money spent on trying to get someone to love you who does not really want to is wasted money. We can’t get back wasted time, energy or money – they are just gone and we are left with nothing. What is the emotional toll of not saying “no” when necessary? The answer is simple: hurt feelings, resentment, anger and burnout. That does not sound like someone who is thriving to me – that sounds like miserable existence.
Allow me to build on this concept. Why is it so important to say “no” to evil and to unsafe people or relationships?
Unsafe people and relationships kill us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Many times they can kill us physically, just look at the news. We lose our sense of self and our self-worth. We lose our joy and our freedom. We live with control and manipulation of our words and actions (by the way, this is akin to witchcraft - look up the definition if you don’t believe me). We are stifled and oppressed. We may feel isolated from others or may literally be isolated from others. Does this sound like the kind of life you want to lead? Is it time to say “no” to something or someone? I think so! I can tell you, it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Once you start saying “no” and go to a safe place, you will begin to feel this weight lift off of you. You won’t resolve everything for yourself overnight but it will be the first step to freedom and the first step to finding yourself again. Saying “no” is your first step to freedom. Saying “no” is your first step to a new life. We must not, as family and friends, expect people to continue to say “yes” to unsafe situations and people to keep the peace. We are harming our loved ones and friends as well as subjecting them to undue and undeserved abuse. We as individuals must also not continue to say “yes” to keep the peace. We hurt ourselves and others when we do this. We teach our children this is normal and set them up for poor understanding of healthy boundaries as well as abuse themselves.
Say “no” to unsafe people and situations. Walk away if it is safe to do so. If it is not safe to do so, make a plan to make it safe. You owe it to yourself and your children to live in safety and in peace. God wants safety and peace for you too, for it is His best! Who or what do you need to say “no” to today? Take that first step! You are not alone! Continually saying “no” to evil,