Hello everyone! I hope all of you had a great Mother’s Day weekend! I got to spend time with my family and friends as well as do a book signing in Midwest City, OK!
**Tomorrow would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. However, that is not what my late husband chose for himself or us. I want to talk to you about "the why" today, "the why" being repentance or the lack thereof. This is not a coincidence that I write am writing this on May 14th, 2019. Please hear my heart! Repentance is key not only in our own lives but in the lives of those we love and befriend. Before I go further, allow me to define the word “repentance.”
Webster defines Repentance as: to turn from sin (evil) and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life; to feel regret or contrition; to change one's mind (to change one’s heart on a matter).
Without repentance my friends, people do not change their thoughts or their actions. They will continue in the thought or behavior pattern they are in and nothing will change. They will simply keep going around and around on their insane hamster wheel getting nowhere fast. Without repentance, you and I don’t change. Without repentance, our loved ones don’t change. Without repentance, our “sorrys” are hollow and mean nothing. Without repentance, the loved one who continues to hurt you will not stop hurting you – they will continue to use and abuse you because their heart and mind have not changed.
Many of you reading this may be allowing an unrepentant person to hurt you in the name of “love” or in the name of “marriage” or “friendship.” I am here to tell you and reread this statement if you have to, allowing an unrepentant person to continue to harm you is not love for them nor yourself. You are not being a good friend nor a good spouse. You are enabling evil to run amok in your life and destroying yourself and maybe even your kids! You can’t save an unrepentant person! You can’t fix an unrepentant person. You can’t save or fix anyone! Sometimes we must leave them to their own devices and to Jesus. The evil the other person perpetuates is destroying them as well. You are both running on your insane hamster wheels. Aren’t you exhausted? I would be and have been! The longer I stayed with my abusive late husband, despite his honeymoon days (remember those aren’t real), the more evil was perpetuated and the less he realized there would be consequences for his actions. He was unrepentant in that area of his life until the end of his life. That broke my heart and God’s too. Those of you who are continually unrepentant, you break the heart of your loved ones and of God. You aren’t tough. You aren’t a badass and you aren’t impressive. You are hurting badly and hurting others too. Your pain is doing the talking. You are a slave to your pain and your sin. No human being was ever meant to be a slave. You are made for so much more than this! Jesus paid a high price to set you free! Call out to Him!
I’ve heard the term in Christian circles, particularly where marriage is concerned, “give them grace.” An unrepentant person does not recognize grace and they trample it underfoot. An unrepentant person will use “grace” as an excuse to continue to do what they are doing that is evil and hurtful. If you allow these people in your lives in the name of “grace”, you are slowly destroying your sense of self-worth and possibly that of your children. You are also teaching any children involved that evil, unrepentant behavior is okay and “normal.” You are the slave in your situation. No human being was ever meant to be a slave. You are made for so much more than this! Don’t let someone trample underfoot the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ in your life. He paid too high a price for it!
I implore those who need repentance in their lives to do so and turn to a different way of thinking and doing life! Turn from your evil! You can break the patterns you have grown accustomed to! I implore those of you tolerating an unrepentant person to stop tolerating their evil! Yes that might cause you and them a lot of discomfort but when we love people, we tell them the truth (if they will hear us) and turn from their evil. I don’t care if you are a friend, spouse, fiancé, or boyfriend/girlfriend of an unrepentant person. In order to save your life (or that of your children), you have to separate yourself from them. Any person who remains unrepentant in any relationship is killing that relationship. Period. Please check your motives for staying with such a person. What is the payoff? I had a payoff - to make this marriage thing look like it was working “beautifully.” We were so fake! What is your payoff? Do you even recognize the payoff? I did not recognize it for a long time. You deserve so much more than an unrepentant person. You are worth so much more! Your children are worth so much more!
Repentance really is everything! Without it, people and relationships die; you die. That does not have to be you or your family – the choice is yours. Repent. Be free. Live.
**To know more about my story, please see my book, The Road Less Traveled; A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everthing In-Between. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes, and Audible.com.