**I do not own the rights to this photo.**
I have not done alot of writing on depression. Last year, I went through some depression and I am now just realizing it.
No, you didn't notice it in my blogs, on my book page or website posts. No one I knew noticed anything different. My family and friends did not know. I did not even know what was going on with me at the time. God had to show this to me. I am no longer depressed. I wanted to share my story to help someone else.
I believe my depression started last May. I had some health problems that slowed my exercise and activities down. I had also left a relationship that was not good for me. I quickly entered another relationship that was not good for me and twice with this person (what was I thinking?!). I now know the combination of these things depressed me. I did not realize I was depressed because depression, unbeknownst to me at the time, is quite sneaky when it comes to how it affects me. I am not sad or weepy. I do not seclude myself. In fact, I don't even feel hopeless or want to hurt myself. When I am depressed, I eat and give up. That is exactly what I did starting in May of last year. I started to eat more and I gave up my normal exercise routine. I know it may seem like I just got lazy but it wasn't laziness, it was a form of depression. When the holidays arrived, it got worse. I could not stop eating. Yet I did not see any of this at the time nor did I recognize depression for what it was another time in my life, 15 years ago. God has been opening my eyes these last several days. I am so thankful!
I say all of this to say that depression may not affect you the way it affects someone else. Pay attention to changes in your life and the decisions you are making on a daily basis. Pay attention to your emotions. I made the mistake of not paying attention and depression snuck in to fill the space. Has something gradually changed or suddenly changed? Are you no longer interested in the things you once were interested in? Are you eating more or are you eating less? These are all signs you may be depressed without the sadness or hopelessness attached.
If you are depressed for any reason and in any way, there is hope! I ask you to please get help and talk to a trusted friend, pastor or mentor. Please take medication if you have to take medication, you are not a bad person or crazy for taking medication. I also want to encourage you to seek after God. Just as He showed me what my depression was and how it came about, He can do the same for you. I believe He has been with me this whole time, holding me and loving me. When I was ready to see what was happening and release it to Him, He showed me what had happened to me. He will do the same for you, He is no respecter of persons. He does not love me more or less than He loves you.
From this point on, I know what to look for when depression tries to come and visit. It is no longer welcome in my mind or in my heart. No matter what happens to me, God loves me and He will never leave me or forsake me. He wants to do the same for you! He loves you and you wants to release you too just as He has done for me!
Psalms 34:18; The Lord is near to the heartbroken, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Deuteronomy 31:8; The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
John 16:33 (the words of Jesus); I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
May the peace and love of God surround you today and may you know you are loved far more than you could ever imagine!
Until next time,