Today's blog is very personal for me as I have recently let go of someone who was using me. It took me a few months to see it but thanks to good friends, prayer and wisdom, I finally did. I can tell you from personal experience there is a big difference between someone that loves you and someone that uses you.
I'll do a quick comparison between somone who uses and someone who loves. We'll start with the user.
Users are described with various adjectives; narcissist, self-absorbed, selfish, abuser and the list goes on. They have two goals. One goal is the advancement of self or "to do what they will" regardless of whether it hurts someone else or not. Their second goal is to demean and undermine the person they are using in any way they can - again for the advancement of self. This can be with words, actions, religious or spiritual beliefs or the use of money. Users only look out for number "1", themselves. Users can be slippery little snakes and sneakiness is a tactic they will use quite often. Honestly is not in their vocabulary unless it is benefiting them and them alone. They are incapable of looking out for anything and anyone other than themselves unless God changes their hearts.
Now let's look at someone who loves us. Someone who loves us looks out for our interests as well as their own, in fact they want the interests to be mutually beneficial. Someone who loves us wants to lift us up and support us in whatever our endeavor may be. Someone who loves us would never use their words, their actions, their money or our money against us. Someone who loves us does not bend and twist religious or spiritual beliefs to fit their own agenda. Someone who loves us would not intentionally hurt us. Someone who loves us is not interested in being sneaky and wants an open, honest relationship. Do you see the difference?
I want to encourage anyone reading this blog, no matter who has used you, to seperste yourself from this person and end their influence in your life, even if that means no contact. A user can only use you if they can get to you. This may even mean removing them from less personal venues like social media.
Cultivate relationships with people who love you and watch out for you, people who want the very best for you. If it weren't for those type of people in my life, I would still be dealing with a user.
For those of you reading this doing the using, while you live, you can change. If you use people long enough, you will be alone in this world. Is that not a terrible way to live? Allow God to change your heart while there is time.
I want to once again close with 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, the Love Chapter:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Love has already won!