I know we’ve all heard the old adage, “hurt people hurt people.” I’ve actually never tackled this subject before but I want to today. It reared its ugly head again yesterday in dear friend’s life. In fact, I’ve seen this happen several times over the last year to those I know and love. It hurts my heart when hurting people hurt others. It also makes me angry I must admit, but I don’t stay there. I pray for those that hurt them and me. I love them from a distance. I will not walk with someone who throws destruction and deception around like it’s a toy ball. I will neither condone it, fund it, excuse it, nor be party to it. When we do, it reflects poorly on our Christ witness and demonstrates dishonor to others. Jesus would never have let a hurt person hurt others and not said anything about it or taken action. Read the account of the women “caught in adultery” by the Pharisees and his reaction and actions in John Chapter 8 if you don’t believe me (see scripture reference below).
I have walked away from a few people over the last year for this very reason, they were hurt and hurting others. I had to do this again yesterday. It’s okay to walk away. We are not responsible for those that choose to hurt others. We can’t fix them and we certainly can’t save them. They are looking for pure love and acceptance but have not looked to the One who can give it to them – Jesus Christ. They continue to hurt others because their hearts are so broken and damaged they don’t know what to do with themselves. Although, that truly breaks my heart for them; I can never condone evil. You may have noticed as I write about this that I don’t waste a lot of time deciding what I need to do when it comes to people who choose to hurt others. I do not as a matter of fact. Evil is evil and hurt is hurt and good is good and right is right. There is no confusion in these decisions at all for me. There was no confusion for Jesus in John Chapter 8 either.
Readers please hear me! No person has the right or privilege to hurt you just because they think they can. They have no religious right, economic right, political right, personal right or any other kind of “right” to harm you. No person has the right to harm your friends or family either. I call on those who are hurting others to look up! Look to Jesus! He can give you what you desire and only Him! He can give you the love and acceptance you have never had and He can put your broken, fractured heart back together again! Any other choice will be a lonely road for you, a lonely road indeed.
To those who have been hurt by such a person, I tell you to keep your eyes on Jesus. Keep your eyes on your purpose and keep your eyes on what is true. The one that hurt you does not own you. They don’t define you and they did not give life to you. Look to Jesus and allow him to heal your hurt! Set healthy boundaries with the one that hurt you and walk away from that relationship if nothing changes. You deserve better than they can give you.
Hurting people, you do not have to hurt people; that is a choice. Those who have been hurt by others, do not look to the one who hurt you for acceptance or affirmation – look only to Jesus – the healer of your heart. All things that have been broken can be whole again - we get to decide.
What will you decide today?
Psalm 34:18 NIV; The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
John 8:3-11 NIV; The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery (according to the law). They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”