This will be my last blog before my vacation to Yellowstone. I hope it will be light and life to many! Blogs will resume the week of July 29th, 2019.
Over this last year Jesus has been doing a lot of healing in me. Freedom from pain is wonderful! I have written about several of these revelations in previous blogs. As I was driving around the other day, I was reminded of another revelation I’ve had – my past response to fear and/or hard life situations. When I have been afraid before or have not wanted to deal with something, I run or hide. I did that in my marriage. I can pinpoint time before that I did this. I can also see where I have run and hide in the last year. I know that may not even seem possible if you know me, but it has been true up until the last few months. Until more recently, I was opting for the easy way out because I was hurting and some of that hurt, I was not even aware of until about 3 months ago or so. Why is running and hiding the easy way out? It absolves you of any or your responsibility in the matter because you don’t have to face people or the situation. I chose not to face my late husband in the financial realm when I needed to stand up to him. I have run and hidden from people I needed to confront, even in the last year. I have run and hidden from people I did not need to hide or run from; they could have helped me. In the end, I hurt myself, and I can guarantee I have hurt others.
Running and hiding may be easy but it leaves a lot of wreckage behind. When you run and hide, you don’t grow, and you don’t face what you need to face to make you stronger. You also leave people wondering what happened and what they did to hurt you. You leave a lot of unanswered questions behind. When running and hiding is our default, we think we can even hide from Jesus too. My friends, I can tell you, you can’t hide from Him. He will lovingly search for you and find you. In running and hiding, we think we are safe. This is the deception and the lie. How can you be safe in the dark? How are you safe when you run and hide from people who care about you? How does running and hiding keep evil from harming you or someone else? It doesn’t, you fool yourself. I am not saying don’t put distance between you and evil, this is always good practice. What I am saying is this, when you have an opportunity to confront someone and speak out about what they are doing to others and you choose not to, you don’t help the person causing the problem or the ones who are being hurt. Does this make sense?
Running and hiding are no longer my defaults when I am afraid or don’t want to face a situation or person. Jesus has healed my heart and I am not afraid anymore of anything or anyone. There is nothing I can’t face with Him in me! I will face evil, and face it head on. He was not angry with me when he showed me my default, he wanted to heal me and take it from me. I had been running and hiding from Him and His purposes for too long. He showed me that by running and hiding, I decrease my ability to be honest and open with others. I decrease my integrity. Who wants to put any stock, if you will, in someone who runs and hides when things get hard? That type of person isn’t dependable, and they can’t be a good friend. I could not be a good friend while running and hiding, in fact, I couldn’t be any kind of friend or learn anything that would help me or perhaps even free me.
I can’t go back and fix the last 25 years, but I can go from here. I can choose to do life differently in my relationships and in the things I face. I have learned that buried pain only amplifies our fear response and it even breeds fear where it does not belong. I choose not to amplify fear or give it any place in my life anymore. I choose the freedom Christ has given me the identity He gives me. I can hope and pray at this point that I can reconcile with some of the people I hurt, if they allow me to. I can go forward with new revelation and live my life, make my decisions, and treat people differently.
Stop running and hiding! There is no hope or healing in the shadows. Come out into the light and be healed! Your freedom will astound you and your light will shine brighter than it ever has before!