What I Know About Grief
With the holidays upon us, I wanted to touch on grief. Grief can make the holidays very difficult for many. I have also walked with both Jesus and grief for a time so I understand how complicated it can be. And I am here to tell you, Jesus understand grief as well. After all, he grieved for his friend Lazaras and many other things we do not know about. (John 11:35, Hebrews 5:7-8).
Grief is a lot like the path you see in the picture for this blog. It can wind and turn and you can't necessarily see the end of it. Grief can also be like an ocean - a raging ocean some days and a calm sea other days.
For me, grief was like the sea - with the waves either raging around me or gently washing ashore. Grief was not something I could predict, measure or even forecast if you will. It came when it came. Grief is also not something you can just "get over", you have to work through it and be willing to do so. No one can put you on a timeline. I can promise you this, if you walk through it and let Jesus lead you, you can't go wrong. Your grief does not intimidate or frighten Him. He won't rush you so don't let other people.
Let's talk about other people. I found that my close friends, people I could honestly confide in, were a lot more understanding and never rushed me. Others were a different story. You see everyone reacts to a facet of your grief (I learned this from my counselor). Sometimes they react supportively, other times not. Sometimes they know what to say, others times they do not. I will say not everyone who reacts to you is trying to hurt you, sometimes they just stumble into that unknowingly. Other people, know exactly what they are saying or doing and they intend to hurt because they themselves are hurting. You have to learn to tell the difference when you are walking through grief.
I promise there will be "anniversary dates" if you will that will bother you, especially around the holidays. You know what? That is okay. It has been 2 1/2 years since Jeff's death and some thing still bother me, not like they used to, but I still have my moments.
One of the best things I did for me and you can do for you is to get some grief counseling. You will learn a lot about grief and about yourself. I would also encourage you to call out to God and let Him comfort you because He does understand and He wants to.
Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Let him walk with you in your grief today. He knows and He understands and He will lead you into life and peace.
Until next time,
**To find out more about my journey, please see my book The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Hope, Pain and Everything In Between. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes, Audible.com and Kobo.com or the Kobo app.