Hello everyone! The first full week of this new year is gone, wow. This year is already flying! I want to start today by asking you some serious questions and yes, I know it's Monday so here goes.
Have you ever wanted someone else to make you happy? Has someone else ever wanted you to make them happy? Have you ever tried to be the sole source of someone's happiness?
How did that work out for you or them?
I can guess it didn't work out well. I was supposed to make my late husband happy, in fact, I believe he thought I could "fix" him. The reality was I could make him happy temporarily but I could never complete him nor fix him (and yes I tried to fix him because I am by nature a fixer). His expectations were lopsided but he had his own reasons. For my part, I kept trying to make him happy, which only kept the cycle going. Trust me when I say this type of dynamic always leaves one person disappointed and the other person frustrated and resentful. I have been there - frustrated and resentful, always wondering why my love was never good enough - wondering if it ever would be.
From my experience, I have learned I not only have to love who I am but the other person has to love themselves as well. We not only have to love ourselves, we have to like ourselves. If you don't like and love yourself, you won't be able to like and love someone else. If you aren't okay with you, you will always be looking for someone to fix you, complete you and make you happy. I can tell you they will not be able to meet that expectation because they are not God. Only God can fulfill all of your expectations. Only God can complete you and fix you (if there are things in your life that need fixed). Only God is perfect love, only He can fill all the voids in our hearts. He gives us relationships in our lives to enjoy and to enrich our time on this planet - they are not designed to be a substitute for Him. No human being will ever be able to substitute for Him.
Be happy with you and love you so you can love others. Let God do and be the rest for you as only He can.
“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.” (Blaise Pascal)
Until next time,
**To read more about my experience you can find it in my book, The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In Between. You can find my book on Amazon.com (paperback and Kindle); Barnes and Noble (paperback and Nook), iTunes, Audible.com; Kobo.com, the Kobo app, Books A Million (BAM), and in Canada at Russell Books, !ndigo.com, and McNally Robinson Books.