I recently experienced a relationship change. I can honestly say I am happy and relieved about how it turned out and yet a bit sad. We were going down two different roads and character issues of the other person became a problem. Friendship is not even an option with this person and that is the sad part. I can only hope they will let God do some healing in their life and get some additional help.
I have learned over time that people are in different places in their lives and dealing with different things - sometimes things they may not even be aware of. People also change. Sometimes what they think they are ready for, they are not ready for at all. Sometimes they don't know what they want. Sometimes, we all just get in too big a hurry for our own good. And then there are those who have issues we can't help them with at all. I think it wise to allow people in our lives to step away and figure things out for themselves, even if we can't be there for them in any capacity. Do we sometimes feel like we may have been used or wasted our time? Yes, I think that is a natural feeling and we have to deal with that. However, I don't think any time spent caring for another human being is ever wasted. I think it plants a seed always. I think if we treat people right (if they let us) we have done something of value - whether they see it or not is not up to us. What about being used you may ask? My answer to that is simply this: if I have a clean conscience and I did not do the "using" then I have nothing to worry about. I am not responsible for the consequences that other person might experience.
Afterall, I am only responsible for myself and my feelings - not the actions or feelings of another person. I am only responsible for how I choose to relate to someone. I am not responsible for how they choose to or not to relate to me. Believe me, there are people out there who can only relate to you in a limited capacity because that is all they have to offer.
I would like to encourage all of us to remember to only take responsibility for ourselves and our feelings, find common ground with people if we can, and move on when we need to do so. Life is too short to get stuck and we have too much living to do!
Until next time,