Hello everyone! I have been following a group on Facebook called Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. It is an excellent advocacy group where men and women can tell their stories and help each other heal. I have also been able to share about my experience and my life after abuse, including about my book. One of the patterns I have noticed time and time again while talking to men and women not just on this site but others is that where abuse and abusers are concerned there are lies, a lot of lies.
The abuser typically puts on a front and wants you to as well - lies. The abuser tells you things about yourself that aren't true - lies. The abuser tells others things about you that aren't true - lies. The abuser tells themselves things about you that aren't true - lies. The abuser uses the lies to justify his or her abuse. You begin to believe the lies. The cycle goes round and round - lies, lies, lies and more lies.
The entire foundation of abuse is lies. The abuser was told lies about themselves they believed too. They used that foundation built in childhood to build their own foundation of lies in their adult relationships. Abusers tell so many lies they don't even know what is real anymore. My late husband, I have not doubt, did not know what was real anymore about himself or me and what was imagined.
Now, here's the problem with all these lies. They have too many holes. They are weak, false realities. Have you ever wondered why the world of the abuser comes crashing down? It's the lies. The lies can't hold up under pressure or scrutiny.
The lies may look rock solid but they are actually quite frail and the abuser is ever frightened of losing their edge. When Light and Truth expose these lies, they fracture and crumble. They can't stand up to Light and Truth. This is why it is so important to speak up and tell the truth about what is going on in an abusive situation. Silence can kill literally and physically and it protects these lies. Telling the truth exposes the abuser to the Light and reveals him or her for what they are in reality - a scared, terribly insecure, hurting, hollow human being.
You defeat lies with truth. Truth is always stronger than a lie. God designed it that way. If you are reading this and you have been in an abusive relationship for 1 year or 20 years, the truth will set you free and the lies will come crashing down if you will but speak to the darkness! If you are the abuser, your defenses can't last forever. Your web of lies will eventually bind you and break you. The Light and Truth will expose your darkness and there will be no where to hide. In this is a chance for you to repent and change, if you only will!
Speak the truth! The lies can stop with you! Speak to the darkness! Do not be afraid!
John 1:5 AMP; The Light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it.
Silencing the lies,