Hello everyone! Happy Veteran's Day to all of the veterans out there!
Trauma changes us. Just as our veterans return from war changed by the trauma they have seen and experienced, we too change as a result of physical, emotional and mental trauma from our relationships and from our choices.
We are not the same after trauma, I am not the same. This change has been good for me and bad for me. On the one hand, I know what I will never do or put up with again. I have learned to love myself better and I am happy with where I am in life.
On the other hand, I am more suspicious than I think I've ever been. I am getting better about this - but it is still there under the surface. I find myself being much slower to trust these days - mainly because trust and security were wrecked in my last relationship. Being slow to trust is a good defense mechanism mind you, but I must be cautious that I don't let it get out of hand - too little trust isolates you from good relationships. It's a balance I'm learning to master, although it seems slow at times. God is good and He has surrounded me with people who challenge me and love me for who I am.
Can we heal from trauma? Yes, it just takes time and understanding. Once we heal are we still ever the same? I do not believe so because you can never go back in the same way to how things were before trauma. I believe I will always see life differently, note I did not say negatively, I said differently. If trauma only produces a negative outlook in your life then you have not healed and you are missing out on all the great things life has to offer you. If trauma produces hate for a person or people, then you have not healed, you have let bitterness, anger and unforgivness creep in and make their home. You may feel powerful, but I assure you that you are quite fragile in that state of the heart. You are adding trauma to trauma and using up so much energy to be angry and bitter - energy that could be put to better use. Did you also know that anger, bitterness and unforgiveness affect us physically? You could literally be killing yourself.
If you take nothing else from this blog today, take away that yes, you may not be the same after trauma but that doesn't have to mean your life ends in misery. You can be happy, whole, joyful and content even after trauma. It all depends on what you do with your trauma that counts. **I wrote a book to help others who are dealing with mentally ill spouses and abuse.** I want people to know there is hope and healing. I want them to know what love is and what it is not. I want them to know where their responsibility ends for another person and when to walk away. I have used my trauma to actually better my life and deepen my walk with the Lord. Do I still struggle? Yes! Jesus is there to help me in the struggles. And He is there to help you in yours too! Take your trauma to Him!
You may never be the same but you can move forward into a better life! I did! The choice is ours. What will you choose?
2 Corinthians 4:7-10 AMP; But we have this precious treasure [the good news about salvation] in [unworthy] earthen vessels [of human frailty], so that the grandeur and surpassing greatness of the power will be [shown to be] from God [His sufficiency] and not from ourselves. 8 We are pressured in every way [hedged in], but not crushed; perplexed [unsure of finding a way out], but not driven to despair; 9 hunted down and persecuted, but not deserted [to stand alone]; struck down, but never destroyed...
Living in new life,
Elizabeth
**The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In-Between by Elizabeth Billingsley