Have you ever met someone or had a friend that regardless of what good you spoke to them, they never had anything good to say to you about themselves, anyone or anything else? Did you ever wonder what they said about you when you weren't around because they were so negative? I have had that kind of person as a friend in the past and the same suspicion. I also no longer have that friend. Why? I don't have that friend because I refuse to allow someone who is always criticizing and analyzing my life and my motives speaking into my life. I refuse to have someone in my life who has nothing good to say about anyone or anything else in my life. I refuse to have this kind of person speaking negative into my life. I refuse to have anyone speaking death into my life. I refuse to have anyone in my life who wants to knowingly and willingly hurt me, period.
We must be careful who we draw close to and who is in our "front row" so to speak. My late husband actually gave a great analogy of the "rows" in our lives I want to share today.
We all have "rows" in our lives (our buildings). The people in your front row are the ones you are the closest too, yours close friends and family. The rows directly behind our front row represent aquaintances, more casual friends, co-workers and people we see occasionally.
Then we get into the balcony. The balcony are people who are no longer in your rows or front row for various reasons. They may have removed themselves because life took them in a different direction or you were moving in a different direction. This may not necessarily be because of problems between you and them, life just happens. These are the people you see on social media only.
The last category he described was those who have left the building (your life) entirely. They are no where to be seen because they exited your life completely - either they chose that or you did. For this last category of people, there was usually an issue between you and them and you could not get along in the same space even at a distance. These are people you may have been close to at one time but then a character issue became a problem. These are also the negative people, those who are constantly speaking death into your life.
I share his example because those who speak death into your life and negativity need to be shown the door of the building. They don't need to be on any of your rows, not even your balcony. People with character problems that can hurt you also need to be shown the door. We must guard against who is speaking into our lives and who is influencing us. A true friend will not speak death into your life nor will they speak negatively about you behind your back. A true friend speaks directly to you when they have an issue and wants to help you resolve it. If they have a role in the issue, they acknowledge that role. A true friend does not constantly analyze and criticize you. Someone who does that simply does not want to look in the mirror at their own life and deal with their own mess. A true friend does not expect you to just be okay with their serious character issues that harm you or others. Someone who does expect you to be okay with hurtful character issues is not only not a friend; they are both deceived and selfish.
A friend of mine sent me a verse today and as I am penning this now I find it very timely and relevant for today's blog. It comes from 1 Corinthians 15:33 AMP;
"Do not be deceived, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
How does bad company do this? Bad company (negative people, critical people, people with serious character issues) corrupt your mind. They fill your head with lies about yourself and others and eventually you act on those lies. This is why it is so critical to pay attention to who is speaking into your life! If they aren't speaking life to you, you need to help them exit the building!
A friend speaks in love always, even the hard conversations are loving. Someone pretending to be your friend does not and find ways to pick at you along the way. Pretending to be your friend you ask? Yes, many people pretend to be friends with others because they need or want something. Who needs a "friend" like that? I don't! You don't either!
Guard your heart and guard who speaks into your life (e.g. your heart - Proverbs 4:23). When you do, you will find that you have less drama and more peace. We could all use more peace and less drama!
Who do you need to help exit your building today? Who do you need to keep close in your front row?
Guarding my heart always,