Today's blog is a declaration for me. I love the picture I found for today as well because I love the sea!
I will have partnership in my next marriage!
I have friends and family who have wonderful partnership marriages and I am determined to have the same.
What does a partnership look like? I believe it looks alot like the love I have been blogging about recently. I also believe it is about sharing the load of life.
First, let me tell you what partnership is not based on my own experience. Partnership is not one person who does all the housework. Partnership is not one person that does all the money while the other pays no attention. Partnership is not one person who gets their way all the time. Partnership is not one person who stays silent while the other runs over them and everyone else. Partnership is not conditional love built around rules one or both must follow to receive love. Partnership is not strict adherance to male/female roles. Parntership is not isolation from others. And finally, partnership is not tolerance of evil in your home or family.
Let's look at what partnership in marriage is now:
1) Unconditional acceptance, even of one another's quirks
2) Speaking the truth in love and with love
3) Sharing the load - house work, child rearing, money, etc.
4) Communicating with understanding and listening with empathy
5) Sharing interests yet having your own
6) Protecting each other's interests
7) Serving one another
8) Working on problems together
9) Establishing boundaries around your marriage in relationship to others and yourselves
10) And the most important, mutual submission
What is mutual submission you might ask? Mutual submission is deferring to the needs of one another without losing oneself. Mutual submission is not lording over someone or telling them what to do and how to do it all the time. Mutual submission does not mean you forget who you are or lay that aside. Mutual submission is not about male and female roles. Mutual submission benefits both of you, not just one of you. If submission is just benefiting one person, it's not submission, it's servitude.
Partnership is the most important aspect of marriage. If you don't have that, you don't have a marriage; you have two people co-habiting and doing their own thing. If you don't have partnership, you have a one-sided relationship which is technically and relationally impossible. And on the worst end of the spectrum, without partnership you have a master/servant dynamic and the possibility of an abusive situation. I can promise you, these are trainwrecks waiting to happen.
Pursue partnership from the beginning, everything else is second best! I will pursue partnership and nothing else. I am worth a partnership and so are you! Partnership is God's best!
Pursuing His best,