Abuse, Marriage, Divorce and Prayer: Let's Get Real
Hello everyone! I was going a different direction with today's blog, however, in light of the article that came out from a well known Baptist preacher regarding abuse, marriage and what women should do in that situation, I wanted to speak up and change things up a bit.
First of all, I would like to ask all church leadership, to please consult the Bible, the Lord, and think before you speak on such subjects as abuse, marriage and divorce; particularly if you have not walked that road. A misunderstanding or misguided words do a lot a damage to the individual you council, to your reputation, your witness and the church as a whole. They also further push the church into a position of irrelevance when the rest of society sees the church as supporting something that is considered not only wrong by our laws but by the average Amercian as well. I will also say here abuse is evil, I don't care in what kind of relationship it occurs in, marriage or no marriage, gay or straight, male or female. Church leaders, you can't stand by evil and expect anyone to listen to what you have to say. I stand with Beth Moore in her comments in response to this man's words - we do not as Christians or non-Christians have to take abuse of any kind! We do not and we will not!
I am going to say a few more things here and I want to be very clear. For those of you who have read my blogs or you who follow me, this may be a repeat for you but bear with me. There are so many who need to read these words. Abuse is wrong by God's law and man's law. Jesus never once said to stay where evil is abounding nor where it is hurting you. I will say it again, an abusive situation is hurting you, your children and others who do not even live with you. You need to leave safely and go to a safe place. God can deal with your abuser, that is not your battle. They have made their choice. They can change their choice if they wish but that is up to them to stop abusing and get help. It is not your job to help them. You can't help them or fix them. God is the only one who can help them. It is not your job to stay! The only thing the Baptist preacher got right is to pray. Let me clarify, you can pray from a distance. I prayed from a distance when I left my husband because of ongoing abuse. You do not have to stay in a house with someone to pray for them. You do not have to be around someone to pray for them. You do not have to speak to someone to pray for them. If someone is telling you otherwise, they are lying or without revelation.
Why do I think this man said such things to women? I do not know his motives. However, I will say if he knows the same God I do, I do not believe he would have said those things. I also believe if he trully understood the scriptures he would not have said those things. At best, he has a lack of revelation and a misunderstanding of who God is nor does he understand the heart of God. This is very sad. My hope and prayer for him is that he take a step back, remove himself from the limelight and seek God out about this. I think he will find a very different response then the one he gave to the world. Unfortunately, the damage is done.
If you have been abused or are being abused and read his words, I want to assure they are not the truth. I also want to tell you I am trully sorry if he hurt you with those words. I know you may have felt hopeless in your situation, made to feel that God is okay with abuse or made to feel God expects you to stay with an abuser. I would not be surprised if you felt all of that after reading his words. Remember, he is a man who can fail, he is not God. You are not hopeless. You can leave an abusive situation and be safe and have a new life for you, your children and your family. God does not hold that against you. He does not want evil to harm you or your family. He does not hold divorce against anyone. Do what you need to do to be safe and to keep your family safe. He will even make a way for you!
Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV; Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (your abuser), for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
John 14:27, the words of Jesus: "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid."
And that ladies and gentlemen is not only for real, you can count on it!
Until next time,