I Did Not Choose to Be a Widow but I Will Make This Life a Good Life
Today’s blog has come as a result of a series of conversations and thoughts, some of those good and some bad. I have decided not all people are going to get where I’ve come from or where I’m going because they haven’t walked in my shoes – no hard feelings. Some are simply not going to be able to go with me on the journey God has set before me - no hard feelings. Some are jealous and insecure – still no hard feelings, I find this sad.
All that said, I did not choose to be a widow four years ago. My late husband chose it for me. I don’t blame him, he was doing his best with the tools he had to cope with life. I have forgiven him for leaving me and abusing me, after all both of these things in different ways were modeled to him as a child and young man. He is safe with Jesus now. I could claim to be a “victim of my circumstances” but I choose not be a victim. I am a survivor and a thriver instead. I have a story to tell the world and much to share to help others and I will spend the rest of my life doing so. I will spend the rest of my life living life and living a good life despite what Satan and others have meant for evil. I will spend the rest of my life shining light into the dark places and making evil wish it had never touched me. I will spend the rest of my life inspiring others and probably making a few people mad along the way, this is okay. I am not responsible for anyone else’s life or response to life but mine. I am not responsible for anyone else’s response to my life as they perceive it. I am responsible to try and meet people where they are, if they will let me, and to be honest and transparent. I know now you can’t be honest and transparent with everyone because they can’t handle your honesty and transparency – it frightens them. This hurts my heart for them but I press on.
I choose to live everyday as if it were my last day. I choose to embrace new adventures and new paths with excitement and wonder. I choose to embrace the people who will let me embrace them with all the love I can possibly give to them. I choose to look forward and not backward. I choose to not be concerned with what others think or if they agree with me. I choose to walk out this journey with Jesus, no matter where it will take me. I consider the cost carefully. I will make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. I do not pursue riches, I pursue the Kingdom of Heaven. I’ll let God take care of the rest.
And last but certainly not least, I want to tell you why I write both my books and continue to blog.
I write because of him, my late husband, Jeff. He is why I will not stay silent. If I can reach one person, whether they be suicidal or in an abusive relationship, I have done what is right. What Satan stole from me God will give back 100 fold! I will not let him steal from anyone else! I do not care if everyone understands or agrees with me. I am not here to get rich or be popular. I have put evil on notice and I will continue to do so! I want to thank everyone who is on this journey with me for your prayers and support and to all my readers! You all are the best! Philippians 3:13-14; Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. With much hope for the future, Elizabeth