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  • Elizabeth Billingsley

Abuse, Deception and the Power of Truth


Hello everyone! I missed getting to write more blogs last week! I wanted to let my readers know there may be weeks this happens depending on what I have going on with my full time job and ministry activities outside writing. Please know if you contact me about a blog or on my writing Facebook page, I will always get back to you. I do this for you and I can’t do it without you! Two blogs this week will focus on abuse issues. Today, I want to speak to you about the deception that comes with abusive relationships and situations. I also want to remind us that truth is more powerful then deceit and it will always win in the end.

Abusers come readily equipped with deception in every “toolbox” they carry into the relationship. Deception is a must-have tool for them to accomplish what they desperately need to accomplish in the relationship – total control and emotional identity theft of another human being. Without deception and its close ally, manipulation, they do not maintain control nor can they take identity. Deception is not only a tool. It eventually becomes the web and the façade they use to hold their world together with their victim trapped inside. This world is fragile. The truth will destroy the world the abuser has built for him or herself – even a little truth can tear holes in their web of deceit. Once the web is pierced by truth, there is no turning back. Their web of deception unravels and their house of cards falls. Have you ever wondered why an abuser is so desperate after a breakup or an arrest? Everything they have built with deceit has come crashing down, the web is torn and the victim is free to escape. Control and manipulation are lost. They are exposed in the light and it’s very uncomfortable and frightening to them. Yes I said frightening – don’t let their demeanor fool you – they are quite afraid. It was fear that drove them to abuse in the first place – fear of someone who abused them. They have learned how to use deception to cover their fear and the ugliness of their hearts.

What exactly do I mean when I say deception? Deception is defined as the act of deceiving. Other words that describe deception are trickery, fraud, treachery, lying, sham, hoax, fake, cheat, and swindle. Ladies and gentlemen when you are being abused, and it doesn’t matter what kind of abuse, you are being lied to, tricked, cheated, and swindled (out of money, time, energy, etc.) When you are being abused, you are part of an elaborate hoax and your partner is a sham, a fraud and as fake as they can be. You are sold a “bill of goods” by a good looking salesman or saleswoman on the outside but on the inside is they are miserable and dying and they want someone to join them in their misery – that someone is you. The deception does not tell you that they really hate you because they aren’t like you. The deception does not tell you that they will steal whatever they can from you – including your life and your children if you let them. The deception does not tell you that they are really cowards and hurting so badly they don’t even like themselves. The deception does not tell you that they do not know how to love or be loved.

To dispel lies (deception), you must have truth. Truth is the light that shines in the dark places. An abuser does not know truth nor do they know what to do with it. When a victim speaks the truth of what has happened to them, they take the abuser’s power away. Truth breaks the power of deception and it never fails to do so. If you are reading this and you are in an abusive situation, I want to ask you to tell someone you trust the truth of what is happening in that relationship. Expose the deception to the light. Let the light of truth do its work. Yes, it will probably be uncomfortable for you as you have been living under deception for so long, however, you will finally be free. Living under deception may seem easy but it a burden we were never meant to bare. Deception takes away our identity and removes all freedom; it is a lonely place – believe me, I’ve been there. You deserve freedom! You deserve truth! You deserve someone who can love you and who can receive your love and so do your children!

Speak truth to lies today! Shine the light of truth into the web of deception that has bound you so tightly! In doing so, you will be free and new life will come. You can’t change the past nor can you change an abuser (no matter how much they claim to love you nor how much you love them), but you can move forward to something better for you and your children!

Choose life and truth today for you and for yours! Love, Elizabeth


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