Has Fear Come Tagging Along?
Writing and Contact Information Hello everyone! I want to start today’s blog giving you some writing and contact information since it has been a while since I’ve done this – then I will get to today’s topic.
I will be at Vintage Coffee in Oklahoma City on Saturday, December 7th from 9 am to 1 pm for an author meet and greet! I will have books for sale for the Holidays. Come and see me! My November event at Capitol Hill Assembly is cancelled as I have training for anti-human trafficking work that I do that will need to be completed at a specific time. Please visit my website at www.elizabethbillingsley.com or my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/wisdomswordsllc to stay in touch!
I will be blogging at least once or twice a week. I don’t want to push too much content because I want it to be quality content and content that is helpful to you. I also want the content to be seen and utilized by as many people that need to read the blogs as possible. Writing is not an assembly line and it is not a task for me, it is a joy and a ministry for me, and I want to treat it as such. You can subscribe to my blogs at the website mentioned above or follow my Facebook Wisdom’s Words page above to stay in touch! I can also be found on Twitter at www.twitter.com/pianobeth1 or on Instagram at www.instagram.com/wisdoms_words_llc.
Has Fear Come Tagging Along?
Are you or have you ever been too afraid to love? I have. In fact, I was too afraid right up until the last 6 months or so. The realization of this was quite profound for me as I had never thought I would ever to be afraid to love. Yet, there I was, scared of ever loving another man again among other things I will discuss – I had been scared and not willing to see it or deal with it. It was a fear buried deep down in my heart – a fear only Jesus could see and deal with properly. How deep are the issues of the heart…When left alone to their own designs they can destroy us and make us someone we were not ever meant to be.
Looking back to the 18-year-old girl fresh out of high school, I can tell you fear was not even a term I subscribed to much less would take up and live with at the time. The passing of time, glossed-over hurts, an identity crisis beginning as a teen, and an abusive relationship as an adult took care of bringing fear to the forefront in my life. This fearful Elizabeth had been almost 20 years in the making – I do not believe I was even fully aware of this at the time. Fear is a sneaky, tricky thing. It is quite good at disguising itself as caution and suspicion all the while telling you it’s protecting you. All it is doing is isolating you. It is not a healthy long-term response to any kind of trauma, but it is easier than facing yourself, a situation or your beliefs at times. Fear is not a part of boundaries.
Boundaries are the fence around your life with gates to let things and people in and out as needed. Boundaries keep us safe and allow safe people to come into our lives. Fear builds a wall with no gates – there is no coming in of safe people. You want to keep everyone out. Do you see the difference?
Although I played a good role after the death of my last husband, I’d built a wall. I’d become comfortable with my fear. It drove how I thought about situations, people, my future, and even truth about myself. Fear even caused me to not love some people how Jesus would have loved them. I spoke of this last week in my blog Fear vs Love: How You Respond Matters. Good boundaries are your friend. Love is your friend. Truth is your friend. Choice is your friend. Fear is not nor ever will be your friend. Fear had even begun to cut me off from people who did love me a few years ago and turn me toward people who did not love me, or certainly did not love me well. I have been thinking lately where I would be if I’d not stopped and taken account my heart and let that continue. I can answer that question as well. I would still be a very afraid, very depressed woman, unable to operate in what God has for me to do and unable to see love, truth and choice and their intersecting parts. I would not be writing; I can tell you that. I would not be helping others and mentoring; I can tell you that. I would be a very selfish, self-centered person with victim mentality, nursing my wounds instead of letting Jesus heal them. I don’t think you would like me.
Please don’t misunderstand me to say that I should have waited until I was not afraid to institute boundaries. Boundaries helped me heal. I’m still allowing healthy boundaries to heal me. Boundaries have helped me let go of unsafe people who were feeding my fear and my ego to be honest. Ego won’t help you heal; it just feeds your more self. If self is fearful, then you get a steady diet of fear. I was getting a steady diet of fear unknown to me at the time, until I started responding to people and things in ways that are so far from Jesus it surprised even me. This is when I knew I had a problem and knew I had to let Jesus sort it out. When all I want to do is eat and not hang out with friends or have a party, there’s a problem. My fear gave birth to the depression I mentioned earlier which led to other physical and emotional issues. My fear for many years caused me to spend in certain patterns as well as try to fill holes only Jesus could fill with people and things.
But Jesus! Jesus in His quiet, unique way met me where I was in January of this year. He told me it was time for fear to go. My purpose and assignment could not be accomplished with fear tagging along. I can’t love with fear tagging along. I can’t tell people the truth or even lovingly give them choices with fear tagging along. I can’t love another man with fear tagging along. Fear had no place in my life anymore! I gave fear to Jesus and let Him fill me with love! My new friends are love, joy, peace, freedom, and Truth, His Truth. Will you give your fear to Him or will you let it tag along with you the rest of your life? He can handle it, you can’t. I want you to be free of fear! Fear is a bondage like no other and it will suck the life and health right out of you. How do I know this? It started sucking the life and health out of me two years ago – 2017 and 2018 were the year of doctor’s office visits and sickness like I’d never known. 2018 was a year of depression like I’d never known. I’d experienced depression before but not like this. Oh, was I a good little actor though? Not! If you don’t believe fear drives this, think again! Fear is the foundation for every emotional issue and hurt we carry around with us – we all fear something. The good news is we don’t have to live that or stay there! We can be free! We can allow Jesus to heal our hearts and take our fear. The choice is yours! Believing the truth that you can be set free is also your choice. I dare to try something different than you have done before. You will not regret trying Jesus! You will never be the same! Goodbye Fear! I won’t and don’t miss you!
1 John 4:18a; There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.