Abuse is Violent, In-Home Terrorism: A Letter to Abusers and Survivors
I love being able to share my weekly blogs with you. It allows me to give deeper thought and process to my writing so that you get the best of the message Jesus has given me to share.
Today, I’m going to describe domestic violence a different way, a way I’ve never described it before and, in fact, a way I have yet to see it described in popular literature. I’m sure by now you have realized the title to this blog was rather straightforward, no holds barred, no beating around the bush. I don’t want to complicate this issue. I write this for both those who have been abused and for those who are doing the abusing. Abuse is violent, in-home terrorism. Yes, I said terrorism. I used that dreaded word for the vile evil of abuse. I called it what it is, what we sometimes do not wish to acknowledge or see.
For the Abusers
If you are an abuser, what does that make you? The answer is quite simple, a terrorist. You are indeed a terrorist on the small scale if we’re going to measure your abilities. You confine your abuse (no matter what it is) to a small space, your home. You terrorize your partner, your children, and your animals. Yet, I doubt you would step foot outside your home and use such tactics at work, at the gym or even as your place of worship. Outside of your home, everyone probably sees you as a “wonderful person” because that is what you want. Outwardly, you look peaceful and play the part but inwardly you plot violence and all kinds of evil. You are a white-washed tomb, full of rottenness and death. You fit the bill of a terrorist perfectly, you are a coward. Only a coward picks on women, children and pets or other animals. Only a coward uses force, fraud, coercion, control and fear to get their point across and maintain order. Only a coward uses a shell of him or herself to manipulate others. Perhaps you grew up seeing this as the “normal” way relationships were modeled to you. Perhaps you are drug addict or alcoholic who acts under the influence of the drugs you consume, or rather who have consumed you. And perhaps, you just want to bully and control. You made that choice on your own. I am here to tell you no good will come of your in-home terrorism. Haven’t you noticed how the national and international terrorists may fool people for a while, but then find themselves either in jail or dead? Just because you don’t play as big of a game with other people does not mean you can’t or won’t meet the same fate as those higher up the criminal food chain. You may do your acts of violence and hatred in the darkness, but God sees everything, even in the dark.
I have never written such things to those of you who abuse. I want you to understand that there is nothing in the direction you are going but destruction and death. If you continue going in this direction, Death and Destruction will meet you as old friends. There is another way, should you choose to turn from this evil and repent. As long as you live you can change. I have seen it. Afterall, at this point, do you really have anything to lose? You don’t have to be the father, uncle, grandfather, aunt, mother, or grandmother that terrorized you. You don’t have to be a slave to alcohol or drugs like those before you. You can be free of the generational curses passed down in your family to you. There is One who can free you. His name is Jesus Christ. Test Him in this and see for yourself!
For the Survivors
My deepest heart’s desire is to see you set free from abuse and enter a life of freedom, love, healing and peace! Yes, even if you are not free of abuse yet, you are still a survivor who chose to fight and live one more day. In an abusive environment, you live with a terrorist. You live with violent evil, an evil that will gladly sacrifice you (and your children) if you let it. Your life does not have to be this way! There is a way of escape. Life waits for you on the other side of abuse! I have walked with one such terrorist. There is no peace, no love, no freedom, and no healing on that path. That path almost destroyed me, and it will destroy you and your children if you continue to walk with this evil. It is not your fault nor responsibility that someone else chose to abuse you. It is your responsibility to make a better life for yourself and your children. I believe in you! I also believe in the One who can heal you, no matter what you have been through and no matter what you have done to survive. His name is Jesus Christ. He sees you, He knows your name, and He hears your cry for help! He is not ashamed of you and He understand the many things you had to do in order to keep living and surviving, just one more day. He gets it and He’s got you! I do too! You are not alone. You are loved. You are not invisible. Your true identity awaits you! Freedom is on the other side of your fear! Take a step and don’t look back!
I want to say in closing, I am not angry. I do not hate the abuser nor the survivor. There is so much more for both of you on this side of Heaven. You need only ask for it! You need only turn your face toward the Light. Freedom is for everyone, including you. Freedom is for all who choose to reach out and take it.
What do you choose?