One simple word. Peace. I am finally at peace – not the peace death brings, the peace life brings. A peace that has been hard fought for and won! I will not surrender this peace because it is mine. I will bring it with me everywhere I go, and allow it to uplift and heal those I meet from this moment forward.
If you are reading this today, and I have not come to you with and in peace in the past, I am truly repentant. I was in such pain for so long that peace seemed out of reach for me, much less others. I had to learn that peace does not accompany the patterns and idols we entertain – only chaos, pain, and drama follow as they lead us on deeper and deeper into dysfunction. In dysfunction, there is no peace. Don't fool yourself as I did for so long. Don't brag about your dysfunction. Your dysfunction will never set you free – it only serves to make you a slave and slaves of those around you. I was a slave, note I said “was.” I want better for you.
I have to say I have some incredible friends and family (you know who you are) who have watched me navigate the last 10+ years of my life leading up to this writing. I can tell you for sure all of them have wanted to smack me at some point along the way. To those wonderful people, thank you for standing by me while I processed, grieved, and let go of so many things (and people) to get to this point. I could not have done this without any of you! I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you. I would not have three published books if it weren't for you. When I could not find peace, you brought that peace to me. When I never thought I would heal, you reminded me that joy (and peace) were coming – I simply had to lean into the pain to be free of it and lean into my community to sustain me!
Today, as I was pondering this blog and the book I am writing, I had a revelation about peace and its polar opposites – chaos and drama. Chaos and drama aren't attracted to nor fond of peace because they don't know what it is. What I am saying is this, people who thrive in chaos and drama do not know peace. In fact, they aren't fond of it either – mostly because they don't know what to do with something they have never experienced. This is truly heart- breaking to me to know there are people who are never at peace. What is even more troubling is these same people will attempt to come in and remove your peace from you because they don't know what else to do with themselves. Why? Chaos and drama are all about disrupting (and stealing) peace. Chaos and drama thrive on more chaos and drama. It is an endless, dysfunctional, merry-go-round. Chaos and drama eventually disintegrate into confusion, and confusion destroys people and relationships. This is not what I want for me, and it is not what I want for you.
How exactly does one find peace you ask? We find peace by pursuing it. We get off of our dysfunctional merry-go-rounds (see my blog Ambivalence, Disappointment, and Getting off the Dysfunctional Merry-Go-Round). We step out of chaotic relationships. We choose not to cater to nor embrace drama and chaos nor the people who want to bring it to our hearts and homes. We must choose peace. I choose peace. I refuse chaos and drama. This choice has taken me 25 long years and a lot of heartache in between. The mindset shift was difficult and sometimes it hurt. However, this peace is mine and no one can take it from me. I will not give it up for anyone or anything. Does this mean I'm not involved in other people's lives or don't care about others? No. What it does mean is I can choose not to take on problems that don't belong to me and that I can't fix. This also means I can choose who to let in close and who doesn't get that privilege. Just because someone presents themselves to you does not mean you have to entertain them. I am done entertaining chaos and drama and just anyone who present themselves to me. This is what is means to pursue peace and to choose peace. Yes, it might mean you have fewer friends. I'm okay having fewer friends. Yes, it might mean you have to walk away from a relationship you wanted. I'm okay with walking away from relationships that don't take me to a better place. Yes, it may mean people accuse you of being “mean” or “not paying attention to them.” I am okay with such accusations. Keep in mind you are accused of being “mean” or “not paying attention” or whatever it is they say about you because they understand they can't manipulate or control you any longer. They can no longer steal your time, your peace, or your sanity and that unnerves them. Let it.
In 2024, pursue and choose relationships and friendships that build you up and make you a better person. Let people work out and solve their own problems. Don't let others pull you into their chaos and drama, spinning you mercilessly around on their dysfunctional merry-go-round. Be wise with advice, your time, your money, and your help. Let peace reign, if you will, in your life. When you are at peace, you can influence those around you for and with that peace. My hope and prayer for you is that my peace can be your peace too. Pursue and choose peace starting today!
1 Peter 3:11b; ...seek peace and pursue it!
Finally at peace,
Elizabeth