Hello everyone! I wanted to take a brief break from my blog series on men and women in relationships (Lion and Lioness) to write a more personal story about healing – a healing I didn't know I needed until last Thursday. God has worked this way in my life many times. I never seem to know I “need” healing. I will be going along, happily doing life, and He will open a door or window into my heart and show me what He sees – for good or bad. He then invites me in with Him to “clean out or tidy up that room” so to speak. I am not alone in that place. I am not afraid. I am safe with Him in the light for in His light, there is life. He always replaces the pain with more love, no matter what is found in the deep places of my heart. He loves me all the same. He sees and knows me. His healing is my miracle. I want you to know that miracle too. Better yet, I want you to know Him. My hope today is that this simple story will set you free to know and be known, and to love and to be loved by the God of the universe who calls you friend. Let us begin.
Traffic on I-35 is crazy, especially after 5 pm. Last Thursday, I had a late appointment on Oklahoma City's south side so as I sat in stop-and-go-very-slow traffic, I thumbed through one of my digital music mixes. I landed on a song called Miracle by Sam Rivera and started listening. He's one of my favorite artists and this was a new song so I thought why not? Music is not benign. Music can pierce you, heart and soul, and go to the literal “heart of the matter”. As I listened to this new song, three lines jumped out to me and I could not understand why – at least at first:
I was the prodigal who ran away
Still you wanted me
A blind beggar who was told to stay quiet yet
you heard me
I was the lady bleeding for 12 years
One touch and you healed me
I'm a miracle, miracle....by the blood of Jesus Christ...
I had time in the busy traffic so I replayed the song, mesmerized by those three lines. As the song played again, I realized I was not just mesmerized, he was talking to me and I don't mean the artist. Jesus was talking to me. He was using these words to mend a broken part of my heart. He was showing me where I had come from and where I was going. There I was in the traffic crying my eyes out and probably looking like a mess while trying to get to my exit. I can't read those words without tearing up a bit to be honest, but the tears are different now than they were last Thursday. Allow me to explain what I mean.
*If you have been following me for any time, you know my story. Jesus has done so much healing in me – from the pain of domestic abuse and the death of my husband, to pain and hurt internalized long before that time in my life. My heart has been completely broken and healed again. Jesus showed me three things in those words:
I had been the prodigal who strayed and did things my way for so long (because of pain), yet he not only wanted me, he welcomed me back.
I had been the “beggar” so to speak in my marriage to my hurting, abusive husband. I had been told on countless occasions to be quiet (and just be pretty) and shown in various ways that I didn't matter. I had been left “begging” to be loved by a man who simply could not do so. Jesus heard me. He heard my silent cries. He saw my tears. He heard the harsh words and saw the violence. He comforted me in ways I did not understand then. He provided a way out. He showed me I don't have to be quiet. I have a voice and a purpose. I'm not just another “pretty face”, I am a daughter of the King.
I had been the lady bleeding from a broken and shattered heart. He picked up those pieces and he put them back together again without the cracks. I am free, whole and healed! There is no going back. I am not bleeding anymore! Happy tears!
I am a miracle...not because of anything I did, but because of the love of Jesus Christ and his finished work on the Cross (Hebrews 9:24-26, John 19:30). He did this for me! He can do this for you too!
What do you have to lose? I had pain and heartache to lose. Who wants to carry those around for the rest of your life? You can't heal yourself, no matter how good you think you are or how much you work at it. Jesus is the only one who can heal hearts. He has healed mine so I can say that with all conviction and integrity. I am not the same person. I will never be the same person. The work of the cross is finished. He did that for you and me. All you have to do is ask Him to come and heal you. You receive Him, you don't have to work for Him or prove anything to Him. I know that sounds too simple but it really is true. Your healing may not be overnight (most of the time it isn't) but he will walk with you through it all. He will meet you right where you are, as you are. You will not be alone anymore. You won't have to be afraid anymore. You can be healthy and whole no matter your past or your present. He loves you! He has always loved you! You are his miracle and his child.
Call to him, and he will answer my friends. (Jeremiah 33:3) What are you waiting for?
With much love,
*To read more about my story, see my book The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In Between. My book can be found on Amazon, iBooks, and Audible.