top of page

Our Bodies and Homes as Valuable Temples

I do not own the rights to this photo.

Isn't this Uncomfortable?

Hello everyone! I've had this written in my tablet for more than a week. It is an uncomfortable subject and a necessary one. I am going to start by addressing the Christians. If you aren't a Christian, bare with me if you choose. I wrote this blog in such a way it can be of value to anyone who reads it. Before I get started, I need to say a few things so there is no confusion as to the reason I am writing about this today. Today's blog is not about any person or any situation – it is about the culmination of my experience, my healing, and what I have learned. I am not targeting any person or any situation. If you happen to find similarities in this blog to your actions or to a situation you are facing, please ask yourself some serious questions and then please talk to someone you can trust such as a mentor, counselor, or friend so you can heal. My desire is not to point fingers nor call anyone out. My desire is to point all of us to a better life, to better decisions, and ultimately to freedom. The best way I have found to do this is to be transparent with my past and what I have learned so others don't make my mistakes. Let us begin.

Newsflash for Christians: When it comes to our bodies and our homes, one can't mix the Holy Spirit with something other than the Holy Spirit. This is a hard truth. I have learned this truth the hard way. My body and my physical home are the home of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God. I can't go mixing my body and home up in or with just anything or anyone. The whole yin/yang thing doesn't work for our bodies and homes, I tried it, believe me. When we let anything other than the Holy Spirit have jurisdiction in our home and bodies, we desecrate our temples – which are our spiritual bodies and homes. I know because I have done so. I have had physical effects like muscle weakness, mental effects like confusion, emotional effects like depression, and spiritual effects like grief from my deepest being for what I have done to myself and others. No one makes us desecrate our temples, we choose to do so on our own. The only exception to this is any kind of abuse – physical, sexual, mental, or emotional – such desecrations are inflicted upon us by great evil and have nothing to do with us and everything to do with someone else's choices.

Now at this point - two paragraphs in – if you are not a Christian, you are probably wondering what on God's green earth is she talking about and why! Fair enough. I am talking about the powerful choices we make everyday regarding our bodies and homes. For example, who you let into your home can change the atmosphere from one of peace to one of chaos. Another example is the food we eat and how we care for our bodies – both can determine the difference between life and death. Another less popular, less palatable, and frankly uncomfortable example is who we allow access to our bodies via sexual relationships. I will not fragilize this topic any longer for any of us. If you need to revisit this blog another day, I understand. I realize this may not be a subject everyone is ready for right now. Please take care of yourself. I love you. I care about you and this is why I'm going there.

Ladies and gentlemen, not just anyone should have access to your body. Your body

is precious. It is not a commodity. It is not a toy. It is not a soothing apparatus for someone else. It is your body and it is good, and it is precious. You are precious. Your body can be harmed physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally by giving it to just anyone. I know some of you reading this now have been harmed in these ways. I have been harmed spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I have narrowly avoided physical harm twice in the past 20 years. I want to be clear. You can use contraception and physical barriers to protect yourself from pregnancy and disease – and please do so if you choose a more casual sex life because that is what responsible, consenting adults do. However, what you can't protect yourself from are the emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds from giving your body to just anyone. You can't protect yourself from toxic soul ties. Pleasure lasts for a moment, and sex is absolutey pleasurable, believe me I've had some great sex. Soul ties and the emotional, mental, and spiritual harm that comes with them can last years. I realize this may not be everyone's experience or where we all come from, however, it is real for me. It is my truth as we are all so apt to say. I do not ask you to agree with me, I ask you to hear me out and decide for yourself.

Not For Me

As I have been healing and learning, I have come to some decisions about who and what is not for me in relation to my life, my home, and especially to my body. People are not for me if they bring chaos into my life or home. People are not for me if they bring evil (e.g., abuse) into my life or my home. People are not for me if they bring manipulation or control into my life or my home. People, or I should say, men are not for me if they do not want to commit to me and love me as a person – not as sex object, toy, or a means to feed an addiction. I can't control other people and I would never try, however; my life, home, and body will no longer be available to those who choose to live their lives in this manner. I will pray for their healing and treat them with dignity, kindness, and respect - and they will not have access to my life or body. Dignity, kindness, and respect are mutually exclusive – they don't include access. Ladies and gentlemen, you do not have to fix or soothe people by giving them access to your home or body. They are responsible for their healing, not you. I refuse to soothe anyone else with my home or body. I will not be party to addictions. I refuse to be a crutch. I choose to pray for people and empower them to work out their pain and trauma with therapy and trusted non-sexual relationships – not my body or my home. I would also implore those of you reading this who believe you must continue to soothe and fix others to ask yourself and give yourself permission to explore why you entertain this mindset. I participated in two affairs - something I never thought I would do and am not proud of at all - because of this unhealthy mindset. I am choosing a different way. I implore you to do the same for yourself. Let them be responsible for their own life, and you be responsible for your life.

I refuse to give my body or home to the toxic emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical messes in other people's lives. Toxic mess leaves residue on everything it touches – delaying your healing and the other person's healing (even if they don't see this). I refuse to allow unhealthy foods into my body and unhealthy thoughts into my mind. I will not mix health with toxicity, holy with unholy. I choose health and wholeness over anything else. I choose love over casual sex because I am worthy of love and very precious. I love myself enough now to know I deserve to be loved, valued, treated well, and honored in a commited relationship. I am 47 years old and it is time to be free! I am no victim! It is time to really live! It is time to be bold! I can't change my past, and I can move differently in my future. I get to choose healthy boundaries for me! I get to choose love and health!

You get to choose too – Christian or no, it doesn't matter who you are or what you believe. You are not a victim! You get to choose healthy boundaries! You get to choose who enters your home and who has access to your body. People are not entitled to your home or body, regardless of what they may think. They are not entitled to use you to soothe their pain or trauma. The only thing others get to do is respect your choices and boundaries. If they choose to come up to where you are and meet you (and they must choose), wonderful! If they do not, let them go with grace, good wishes, and kindness respecting what they choose. I am calling us to higher today. I had to call myself higher. I am calling us all to self-respect and self-love, whether you are a man or woman. God made you good and you deserve good! You deserve the best of people, not the worst! You deserve to be loved and treated well! You deserve to live in peace not chaos. You deserve health, not toxic mess! You deserve to love you! What are you waiting for?

With much love,


11 views0 comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page