I wanted to use an excerpt this time from an old blog to demonstrate a very important concept, the concept of going through the motions.
"Both of us wanted to be more serious about confessing the Word of God in our marriage and in our everyday lives. We got started by printing out Bible verses and putting them in our home on the refrigerator and on the mirrors in our bathrooms. I have also posted them in my office at work. We later picked up a CD at our church’s café called Marriage Works Confessions. The CD is a collection of prayers and confessions for wives, husbands, family and the couple’s overall marriage."
Now don't get me wrong, the Word of God is very powerful. Reading and confessing it are very important, not only a marriage, but in everyday life. There must be an element of belief though and not another motive.
In our marriage however, both of us where guilty of going through the motions for the sake of looking good. For my part, I thought silence and just continuing to try to make things work and play "the part" would fix the problem. On the other hand, looking good was very important to Jeff so he would do whatever it took to make things look okay, whether they were okay or not. Many of the things I have
mentioned in my blog excerpt were those very things. I think he wanted to do what was right and I know I did. For his part, he could not get around his other self so he played the "spiritual part" well to cover for it. Neither one of us were being honest nor seeking out any help. What we should have been confessing, praying about as well as seeking councel for was what was going on in our marriage. Instead, each in our own way, we went through the motions. Yes, we both loved God. Yes, we both loved each other. Yet we still went through those motions.
I hope this is making sense to you. The bottom line is this; you can sound Christian, act Christian and even be a Christian and still have serious problems to deal with in yourself and your relationships. You must be honest with God, yourself and each other and stop going through the motions. God has so much more for you if you will engage Him. I wish Jeff and I, for both our parts, had believed that at the time. I want better for you and yours. I want better in my next marriage. I want better for your life and mine.
Until next time,