Hello everyone! As I begin to pen this blog at 9:57 pm on Mother's Day, May 8th , 2022; I can honestly say I have nothing to prove anymore - not one thing, to anyone. The days of believing I have to do so are over. A shift has come for me - I see it, I feel it. Life is going to change in ways I have only imagined. I know this to be true.
Today marked a turning point for me and the beginning of new purpose. Today, I did a beautiful thing. I was baptized for the second time in my life. I believe I fully understood what Jesus had accomplished for me in a way my 7-year-old self could not fathom. It was time – time to wash away all the lies I'd believed for so long. Time to wash away the remains of pain and the years of running. The work of the Cross is done, I understand that now (Romans 6:3-11). The transforming and cleansing are done. I am whole. I am free. I am loved and wanted deeply. Now I get to walk not only in those truths but into new things because I am a new woman (2 Corinthians 5:17). **Easter weekend was just the beginning. I know the fullness of the Truth, and I can't go back! The Lion of the Tribe of Judah has roared and awakened me!
In this newness, I don't have to perform! I'm not a circus monkey! I don't have to prove I can do anything (and everything) to myself, Jesus, or anyone else for that matter. Not only do I not have to prove anything to myself or anyone else, I don't have to be “strong and stoic” all the time! I can be vulnerable. Imagine that! I don't have to be untouchable or turn my emotions off to avoid pain. I can feel pain and that pain is understood by my Heavenly Father without any condemnation or shame. I can trust God fully! I am safe with Him! You have no idea how freeing this is – to know you don't have to “do it all”, to know you don't have to carry the world on your shoulders nor live in fear of others' opinions! My Heavenly Father has broad shoulders. I'll leave the world and its weight to Him. The only thing that matters to me is what He says about me because He made me!
These revelations are shining light in areas of my heart that have been dormant and cold for a long time. Jesus is revealing so much to me! It’s Tuesday now, by the way; and yes, this is
taking a bit longer than I thought to write but that is okay. He gave me greater revelation about some ideas and people today I thought I needed to follow; people who I believed were walking in all Truth, but they are not, at least not yet. I will pray for them to come into all Truth but I can’t follow their lead right now. This new purpose and path will lend itself to me saying “No” and separating myself from things that aren’t what God would want for me or others. I may say things that upset some people. I do promise, however, that whatever I say, I will speak with love,
truth, grace and in reverence for those I am speaking with. I will also find unity with others where it can be found. We are lacking this so badly in today’s dialogue and cultural posture. Shame, judgement, and only hard truth won’t cut it anymore, and it doesn’t change people in the long term. I can say that because I have nothing to prove and no one to please but Jesus. I don’t have to prove myself to any man for any reason – trust me, I spent 20 years trying to do that and it got me nowhere. I don’t have to prove how strong I am or how capable I am. All I have to do is rest in Jesus’ finished work on the Cross. He will take care of the rest, including where I go from here. I can trust Jesus completely to bring God’s man into my life (not my idea of God’s man). I don’t have to strive anymore or perform anymore. I can love myself and do. This means I will finally be able to take care of myself mentally, physically, and emotionally with no strings attached to fear or anyone else for that matter. I am no longer sitting in my pain trying to prove myself to the world and to men. What a maddening merry-go-round! I know who and Whose I am. No one else defines Me except Jesus. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a powerful place to be
in life. Why? Nothing and no one, not one person, can steal my joy or upend what Jesus has in store for me – they don’t have that kind of power over me. She who the Son sets free is indeed free! (John 8:36)
**See my blog: Tears, Clarity, and the Freedom of it All, April 17th , 2022 for details.